Week 8 Power Rankings - Halloween Edition #2spoopy4me

1.	#FreakyFriday	They say you are what you eat, and this week Greg K. (0) became a dong just to look in the mirror and stare down - you guessed it - another Greg. If that wasn't scary enough, he didn't flinch and fucking crushed it. Kodz is like a fetus that absorbs his twin in utero... except uglier. At 5-2, he'll be trekking through the outback to Beeftown, Australia to face a team that hasn't outscored him on the board since way back in Week 1.
2.	#RigorMortis	Greg B. (+1) learned this week that real does not always mean better. Being the real schlong expert of the matchup proved no exception. Arian Foster tripped over his dick again and tore his shit. Dongman really could've been someone! But he wasn't. Look for Greg to try and stiffen up against lowly Mikey on the weekend.
3.	#Halloweenie	A world where Danny Woodhead gets Steve (+1) over 30 points is a world I don't want to live in. Or be writhing in pain or even dead in, for that matter. With Dez still out and some staff going on bye, perhaps there's a bit of weak underbelly to expose going into the spoopy stretch drive.
4.	#SailinOnTheStyx	Caitlin (+2) diligently avoided the paths of black cats to get a win and float over to the greener side of .500 mountain. This shows us that even empty husks of teams can drift along if the currents are right. Here's to hoping the proximity of all hallow's eve allows Cait to Char-OWN some fucken frankfurters.
5.	#AimForTheHead	Alison's (0) best wasn't quite enough to fuuuuuck shit up this time. However, she's still sitting above .500 as she rolls into Nana Stadium to play a team she would've beaten, given the matchup, in Weeks 3 through 7. What's different in Week 8?? An opposing Big Dan rises from his grave.
6.	#NotJekyllDefinitelyHyde	Timmy (-4) didn't put up much of a fight during his bye-pocalypse weekend. He'll be glad to see his quarterbacks return next week against Andrew after putting on a Diagnosis Murder costume for Week 7. If you're going to doubt it all, 5-2 is a great place to have an existential crisis.
7.	#HauntedProduce	Brian (0) came to play this week and laid down a bit of a little brudder smackdown on Tim. Both teams needed to dredge up some depth as lots of players were out on byes but it was B-man dishing out all the bananas here. Is this W enough to start the classic mid-season turning of the tide?
8.	#HouseOfAThousandWeiners	James (-1) had some of his henchmen doing his dirty work like a villain from Scooby Doo this week. They churned out one of his highest totals thus far. Unfortunately it didn't matter this week and nothing else matters and the fact that we exist means god is clearly dead.
9.	#FromTheDead	Mikey (+1) got 65 points from Dolphins and that's basically all he needed because he played Andrew. You know the movie Zeus & Roxanne? Well... fuck it. Next week Mikey has a colonoscopy scheduled with Dr. Dong so we'll see if there's enough intestinal fortitude here to streak on fleek.
10.	#TwoYardsUnder	The diagnosis is butt soreness and salty death for Andrew (-1) who didn't think his worst could be quite this bad. Without a fuckdoubt, Andrew will be pitching quarters and doubling down side bets with Vegas bookies to try and recover after an impressive slew of terribad.