Powerful Rankings - Week 9 Edition

1.	Team Auto Darft	Two big wins over Greg B and Jimmy following a disappointing loss to Timmay proves that Greg K (0) is in full relapse and is back to his “Thor's Hammer” approach on his opponents souls. Will the loss of Le'Veon Bell send Greg K back to rehab? He said, “no, no, no”
2.	Dr. Dong Johnson	Greg B's (0) receiving core had him showing off his core behind a gleeful chorus of “MY TEAMMMMMMMM!” The onslaught delivered was a direct result of a heads up trade after losing Arian Foster, which sent Edelmen to Greg K for Barnkowski and Dion “Who the fuck is Dion” Lewis. The fun continues! Greg is down again to one lonely running back, will Greg pull a hammy as he jumps in celebration from this weeks massive showing, landing him a seat next to Foster and Forte for Week 9? Or will he bare all and show us exactly what he is made of?
3.	A Real Doctor: Jong Dohnson	Steve's (0) 4.7 point victory over Caitlin was almost as tight as the games that his Quarterbacks threw in Week 8. Amassing 51.1% of the teams total points is all the justification you need for drafting two great Quarterbacks. The rest of steves team can't just sit by and watch DrewDrew play with his “injured elbow” or watch Tom slip into a pair of his custom detailed Uggs and trounce all over the competition.
4.	4. The Gurley Show	Coming into this week Caitlin (0) looked like she had a true contending team. Following in the footsteps of the beloved Charles, Caitlin grew uneasy, then upset, then terrified, the mortified, then.... nothing, as Fitzpatrick injured his finger, Keenan Allen is dying, and John Brown has a hammy. Beyond the shadows of the injuries, Gurley (emerging as one of the leagues elite backs) and Charandrick West (doing a Jam-alright job filling in for Charles) remain at large. Despite the injuries Caitlin mustered 141.2 points, a promising sign if she can overcome the impeding loss of Allen.
5.	Fuuuuuuuuuuck This	The Sun, the Moon, and Earth did not align, we did not see a tie as we would have if Alison (0) and Mikey had be playing each other. Alison didn't have the best week, but it was enough to beat Brian's struggling pack of misfits. Alison has Mikey next week, will she play the schoolyard bully for a second consecutive week, or will her paddle be on a BYE week along with 3 of her top players?
6.	[Jimmy's Team Name]	Jimmy (+2), had he been playing any other team besides one owned by a Greg, would have won. It's a tough break, but this won't stop Jimmy from trying to break him self off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar that is the playoffs. For some reason I like the spunk that this team embodies. Lets see if he can't throw down against Timmay this week at home.
7.	HYDE And SEEK	Timmay (-1) lost to Andrew, so he moves down a spot in the rankings. With the loss of Steve Smith Sr., and some of his best players on bad teams, Timmay is going to have to rely on his elite Quarterback trio to pull him through down the stretch. Going against Jimmy this week, will Timmay be able to flex his muscles over the lesser opponent, as he showed us he could do in the beginning of the season? I don't know.
8.	Spider, We Need More Bananas!	Brian's (-1) team has been playing like a broken link to the leagues power rankings blog. Big Ben Brown is back and is looking to dilute the concentration of this acidic solution that is eating away at Brian's season (or something else that makes sense chemisty-wise).
9.	Fightin Fittez	Mikey (0) isn't going anywhere in the power rankings, his crew has been working their way back to a respectable point total since weeks 4 and 5 left him for dead, but with 4/5 of the remaining teams left on Mikey's schedule having winning records, Mikey might want to start looking towards next year.
10.	Van Dyke Browns	Andrew (0) won after scoring only 118.5 points, that keeps his dream alive for now, but it will catch up to him. Greg B looks to be the Freddy Krueger of Andrews team's dreams in Week 9. Elm Street is just around the corner for this team.