Week 2 Power Rankings by Greg Barasch

1.	Greg B (+1)	Primary qualifier for being ranked first in the power rankings: being the one who writes the power rankings. Greg B cruised to a solid, meaty win in Week 1, declaring victory for himself at roughly 1:39pm on Sunday as Mikey was still waking up from his offseason slumber.
2.	Steve (+2)	It wasn’t a banner year in 2014 for Steve, but a 187 point statement to open 2015 propels him to within earshot of the guy who’s going to win the league. What can he do to top this in Week 2? Hard to say, but filling his currently vacant WR3 spot might be on the agenda for the mid-week stretch drive.
3.	Alison (+7)	Alison was off in a far away land while her team was back home wrecking shit in Week 1. Carson Palmer, DeAndre Hopkins, and Jason Witten might qualify as an unlikely trio of fantasy stars, but all three posted 25+ points and led Alison to a smooth dismissal of the auto-darft queens.
4.	Caitlin (+2)	Caitlin only won 5 of 11 position battles in her familial opening matchup, and she was significantly further away from the window than Brian, so who knows how this miracle win came together, and yet here we are. Dismal showings from Peyton Manning and Greg Olsen couldn’t stop Caitlin on Sunday and should improve in the coming weeks, meaning Caitlin is in great shape in the league once again.
5.	Brian (-4)	Brian had a fairly well rounded lineup in Week 1 but moved to 0-1 because two of his bananas scored under 10 points and another barely even showed up to play. Still, Brian has the highest ranking of any winless team due to a very potent offense that could develop into a powerhouse sooner rather than later.
6.	Timmy (+2)	Timmy was nowhere to be found on Sunday, both physically and statistically, as Steve’s inferno sent him Hyding all day. Timmy actually had a fine week and doesn’t have too bad a team, but inevitable poor decision-making looms for this Adriance. Stay tuned.
7.	Jimmy (0)	Jimmy pencils himself into SEVENTH place in the power rankings this week with a less humiliating loss than usu…WAIT, Jimmy won? That’s new. I’m not willing to do any research on this, but Jimmy may never have been ranked this high before and may never be again. Get ‘em while they’re hot.
8.	Andrew (-3)	Andrew put up a paltry 112 points and hasn’t had a single player exceed 16 points yet this season. If that trend continues, it could be a long season for Andrew. Diagnosis: 0-13.
9.	Mikey (-6)	Mikey was the only team uninterested in decimals in Week 1, and also seemed pretty uninterested in winning to boot. An early loss puts him in a familiar hole and he’ll need to show some major improvement to avoid missing the playoffs for the third time in four years.
10.	Greg K (-1)	This week’s power rankings: brought to you by Greg’s Sandwiches© (serving footlongs since 1989™). A Greg on top, a Greg on the bottom, and a whole bunch of turkey in between. (Steve is the mayo in this horrible, horrible analogy.) Really though, Kodz’s team blows and shows no signs of improving anytime soon unless Blake Bortles Fuck-Ups suddenly increase in point value.